


She is the Sunshine

by ageekofalltrades



Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types
Genre: AU, F/M, Suspian fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 13:11:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8579848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ageekofalltrades/pseuds/ageekofalltrades
Summary: Caspian managed to slip Lucy a letter before she left Narnia, a letter that is intended for Susan. Will the two of them get their second chance?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Set after _Voyage of the Dawn Treader_
> 
> (I'm transplanting this fic from my ffdotnet account, so if it looks familiar, that's why!)

Hours after having said goodbye to Edmund, Lucy, Eustace, and Reepicheep in Aslan’s Country, Caspian was finally able to take some time for himself. He trudged slowly towards his cabin aboard the _Dawn Treader_ , mind and heart heavy with all that had transpired. The urge to go all the way through into Aslan’s Country had been so strong; the desire to see his Father once again had been stronger still. But above all that was the knowledge that he had a kingdom and thousands of people waiting on his return. This knowledge of his true duty would always win out in the end. 

Entering his study, Caspian firmly locked the door behind him, ensuring that he would not be disturbed. Thoughts of returning to Narnia, and of his promise to Aslan to be a better King filled his mind, threatening to consume him. He would let them, but not quite yet. There was another thought, the thought of a specific someone that his heart yearned to remember, if only for a moment. 

He crossed over to the bookshelf, lifting the ivory horn from its resting place, his fingers tracing over the familiar engravings. Susan. He knew it was foolish to keep thinking of her, that there was no way for them to be. But seeing Lucy again, who was so similar to her sister, had brought back so many memories and feelings. In that moment Caspian wished as he had never wished before, that the letter he had slipped into Lucy’s hand right before she stepped through the portal would indeed make its way to Susan, wherever she might be.

And as he felt the wish settle within him, Caspian brought the horn to his lips and blew. His heart was hopeful, but his mind knew the truth. He would never see her again.

\------------------

Susan awoke with a startled gasp, struggling to separate her dream world from the real one. She had been so certain that she had heard… “No, it was just a car horn, surely,” she told herself firmly. But her dreams had been about Narnia, as they so often were lately. Thoughts of her old home filled her mind as she set about getting ready for the day. Even now, some aspects of her time spent as Queen showed through. It was in the way she held herself, the way she spoke sometimes, and it was always in her eyes. Her eyes, which had seen so many wonders, but only ever wished to see just one more glimpse of…

Susan’s musings were interrupted as she entered the kitchen and saw Peter at the table, reading through some letters. “Are they from Ed and Lucy?” she asked hopefully.

Peter nodded his head in affirmation. “Susan, they went back.”

If it were possible, Susan felt her heart leap and sink at the same time. “What?”

“They went back,” Peter repeated. “And apparently Eustace went with them. Here, this one is for you specifically,” and he held out a thick envelope. 

Susan ignored the comment about Eustace for the moment, anxious to read what Edmund and Lucy had written. But instead of pages upon pages detailing their adventures, Susan found a small envelope wrapped in a single piece of paper. On that paper was a message, written in Lucy’s handwriting.

_He misses you so. And I know you miss him too. So for just a moment…feel, don’t think._

Lucy’s message fluttered to the floor unnoticed as Susan’s trembling hands opened the second envelope. 

_To my Gentle Queen, my dearest Susan,_

Susan could not get past that first sentence, her heart was pounding so fiercely. “I have to go,” she whispered to Peter before fleeing from the room and the house. She did not go far, merely down the street to a small park. But the quick walk served its purpose, allowing her a few moments to clear her head. 

Sitting down on a bench that faced a small pond, Susan took a deep breath before focusing on Caspian’s letter. 

_To my Gentle Queen, my dearest Susan,_

_Is has been three years since I last saw you, yet I can still remember the way you fit in my arms, and the look in your eyes as you walked away. I do not know how much time will have passed for you when you get this letter, or if you will even get it at all. I do not know if you will even remember me. But when I saw your brother and sister again, all I knew is that I had to try to reach out to you. There are things that I have been wanting, needing, to say._

_I think about you every day. I think about all the things I miss. I miss your smile. Your smile always caused me to smile right along with you. I miss those expressive eyes of yours. You may not be aware of it, but your eyes reflect the feelings you try the most to hide. I miss your gentleness. A soft touch here, a kind word there; the way you looked at your family when you thought no one was watching. I miss your fierceness. The way you would not stand for any injustice, the way you gracefully accepted that fighting was, sadly, the only option; the way in which you fought. I miss you, all of you._

_I know there is a part of you that would say it is foolish for me to keep holding on to your memory, seeing as how there is no possibility of us seeing each other again. Part of me is saying the same thing. But my heart will not let go of the wish of seeing you again. It does not worry about the impossibilities, and neither should yours. Just know that my heart belongs to you. And…if I am fortunate enough to have your heart, and should the circumstances ever fall in our favor, whether by Aslan’s design or another’s, also know that I will not hesitate to gather you up in my arms and kiss you as desperately as you once kissed me. For that is another thing I miss. I miss the feel of you against me. I miss the smell of your hair, the softness of your skin._

_I miss you, and I hope and pray that you miss me too._

_With every hope of one day seeing you again,_

_I am yours,_

_Caspian_

It was not until the first tear splattered on Caspian’s words that Susan noticed she was crying. Crying for the love behind the words, crying for the man she missed every single day, crying for the fact that she would never see him again.

But oh, how she wished she could. She never should have left Narnia that day. She should have pleaded with Aslan to let her stay. If she had given Him any inclination of her desire to stay in Narnia, stay with Caspian, she felt sure that the Lion would have granted her wish. But she had been scared, and so she had remained silent. She regretted it so very much.

“Caspian,” she whispered in a broken sob as she clutched his letter against her heart. She could feel the walls she had built around those memories slowly crumbling. She let herself remember that moment. Remember the bold feeling that had made her turn around and kiss him. Remember his lips on hers. Remember the feel of his lips on her shoulder as they embraced. Remember the look in his eyes as she walked away. Remember the pain in her heart as she did so.

“If only there was something to be done about it,” she whispered to the empty air.

_Would you do it?_ her inner self asked.

Would she? Would she leave this world behind, leave Peter and Edmund and Lucy? Would she give it all up for a man, a King, she barely knew, but whose heart she did know? Narnia had been her home once; it could be her home again. Her siblings knew how miserable she had been since her last return. Surely they would understand. Surely they would want her to be happy, even if it meant her leaving them.

_Would you do it? Would you have the faith and belief to do it?_ asked her inner self, whose voice was starting to sound familiar.

She still had faith, though it was less than what she first had. She knew Narnia was real; she believed it with every fiber of her being. It was just getting harder to believe, knowing she would never return. But she still believed, still had faith. Too much had happened in Narnia for her not to. She knew she could summon the faith back if the situation asked it of her.

_Would you do it, dear one?_ Aslan asked.

Susan bolted up from the bench, eyes wide and searching. “Aslan.” The water in front of her shimmered as the notes of a horn, her horn, sounded through the air. Susan knew the notes were meant for her alone. She hurried over to the water’s edge to peer into its depths, straining to see some sort of sign.

_Would you do it?_ He asked again.

“Yes,” Susan breathed out.

Then, clear as day, an image formed underneath the water. It was Caspian, standing alone at the bow of a great ship, facing the rising sun.

_Then go Susan, Queen of Narnia. He is waiting for you._

And without a second thought, without a glance back, Susan stepped into the water.

\----------------------

 

Caspian did not sleep that night. Instead, he sat at his desk, reading through the history books on Narnia’s Golden Age. He would stop at every page that had a picture depicting Susan in some form or another, while his mind took him away to what was and what could have been.

When the sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, Caspian finally rose from his desk, stretching muscles that had grown stiff during the night. His waking dreams had held such promise that his sleep deprived mind actually believed that blowing the horn had worked, and that Susan would be waiting for him up on the deck. But of course, the deck was empty, save for himself. Even the Captain was still asleep.

So he contented himself with the memories as he watched the sun dawn on a new day. He remembered the way Susan had whispered his name in his ear as she drew back from their kiss, so full of regret and longing. _Caspian._

“Caspian?” 

And her voice sounded so unlike the voice in his head, sounded so real, that he had to turn around, had to see for himself, had to know.

There she stood, still as beautiful as ever, her eyes shining with such emotion. A gold dress hugged her figure, causing her to shine more brightly than the sun. But the smile on her face shone the brightest of all, chasing away the clouds in Caspian’s mind.

“Susan.” Her name fell from his lips in a breathless whisper. “You…are you truly here? Is this real?”

“It is so very real,” Susan said just as softly, her smile growing even more radiant. “Caspian. I am here. I am here, and I am staying. And I am yours.”

Caspian smiled right along wit her, joy flooding through his very being. Questions and answers would come later, as would plans for the future. For the moment he made good on the promise he had written. He strode forward, his steps filled with purpose, and pulled his Queen towards him, kissing her with all the love he had. 

And she kissed him back.

**Author's Note:**

> There is the potential for more to this story. I just have to figure it out....


End file.
